I have decided

After much thought and prodding, I have decided to cut all ties and form of communication with her.  I know that the Lord will understand that this is not the right time for me to be friends with her. Maybe someday when everything as been wiped clean and nothing is left but the purest of intention to be her friend only and nothing more. I don't want to be a self-centered guy but I have to do this to completely heal and for the sake of both of us.  I deleted her phone number last month, burned all her pictures and removed her from my facebook. In this way I won't be tempted to look at her profile and hurt myself in the process. It is much better for both of us if we are in the dark as to what are we doing lately without any of us knowing about each others activity.

She tried to communicate  but I guess I'm not ready yet although I tried as much as I can to be civil with her. It was just  a one day "hey how are yo" kind of thing and I must admit that I had mixed emotions that day. I was on guard though not to let my emotions get the best of me and I was triumphant in doing that. The pain is much too deep that I'm only 85% healed as of this time. Everyday I still think about her but the good thing though is that it is becoming less and less everyday. I guess I'm starting to move on after all! 

Perhaps someday when we meet again we can sincerely smile without any trace of pain or remorse and ask each other if we can really be friends. But not for now....